Because every week, I go to a club, and every week, I act like I'm too drunk to stand. And every...fucking week, a nice guy like you comes over to see if I'm okay. You want to fuck me still?I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings obliteration. I will face my fear and I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past... I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. If you want love, then this is it. This is real life. It's not perfect but it's real.It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was ... how I had so much hope in things ... and now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love. I don't feel things for people anymore. In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night ... and I was never able to feel all this again.I love you, Dex, so much. I just don't like you anymore. I'm sorry.It's like I was playing some kind of game, but the rules don't make any sense to me. They're being made up by all the wrong people. I mean no one makes them up. They seem to make themselves up.You can speed it up. You can slow it down. You can even freeze a moment, but you can't rewind time. You can't undo what is done.I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and I'm grateful for that. Whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, I'm sending you love. You're my friend to the end. Love, Theodore.I don't think we should sleep together. I mean, I want to, but since we're never gonna see each other again, it will make me feel bad. I'll wonder who else you're with. I'll miss you.Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.I think you're the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I've ever met in my life. I've never seen anyone that's nicer to people than you are. The first time I saw you... something happened to me. The truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day. I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life. 
